The New Adventures Of The Torch Lady
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| The New Adventures Of The Torch Lady | |
| | |
| Directed by | Eric Armstrong |
| Written by | Michael J. Wilson |
| Starring | Sigourney Weaver is the Columbia Torch Lady |
| Produced by | Jacquie Barnbook |
| Distributed by | Columbia Pictures |
| Release date | 1960 |
| Runtime | 1 hr. 7 min |
| Language | English |
| Budget | {{{budget}}}
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The New Adventures Of The Torch Lady is a live-action 3D film from Blue Sky Studios (20th Century Fox Animation). Some of it by Sony Pictures Imageworks, starring Columbia Torch Lady of Columbia Pictures Ice Age Screen Gems logos fame, premiering on the DVD release of Columbia Pictures: The Meltdown Ice Age: The Meltdown Screen Gems: The Meltdown, much in the same vein as Gone Torchy on the previous movie's DVD release.
Columbia Torch Lady, while chasing an Pedestal, finds a buried Time Machine next to the ice-encased body of a Time travel. She accidentally activates the machine, sending herself and the Pedestal to the time to the Middle Ages. After the Pedestal becomes wedged under a rock, Columbia Torch Lady uses a sword found in a stone as a lever to move the rock. The Pedestal is dislodged, but Columbia Torch Lady now finds herself under attack by an army of unseen archers. She races off to find cover, only to hide in the barrel of a lit cannon. Columbia Torch Lady, the Pedestal and the time machine are fired into the path of a fusilade of arrows; Columbia Torch Lady just manages to activate the machine in time. She materializes in an arena in Ancient Rome. Columbia Torch Lady reaches for her Pedestal, but is dragged off when her 'robe is caught in a chariot Columbia Torch Lady reaches for her Pedestal, but is dragged off when this time to 1912. She activates the time machine again, and apparently lands back in her home time. She soon learns that it is really 1912 when she sees the RMS Titanic heading towards her. The Time Machine is activated again, and Columbia Torch Lady finds herself in time of the first Columbia Pictures film, where she fights another Miss Liberty (herself) for her Pedestal. The time machine fires, sending her to a flury of different locations: under a launching rocket, in a darkened jewelry store, in a locker room (female), in the French Revolution, where (she appears under a guillotine), during Benjamin Franklin's famous expirement using a kite. in front of a wrecking ball, in front of the Fireworks Factory, on the tracks of a steam locomotive, and in front of Michelangelo's famous statue, David. Frustrated, Columbia Torch Lady punches the machine, which sends her into a strange realm of clocks and timepieces. Columbia Torch Lady spots her Pedestal and tries to reach it, but is sucked into a wormhole. The wormhole lands her in front of an enormous Statue of Liberty Overjoyed at the sight of so many Pedestals, she tosses away her Pedestal, which activates the time machine. Before she can be swept through time, Columbia Torch Lady beats the time machine into submission. Columbia Torch Lady attempts to remove Pedestals from the Statue of Liberty, but discovers that it is only a statue, with a placque on it reading CPT logo with the byline "A unit of Columbia Pictures Entertainment, Inc." Columbia Torch Lady realizes that she is in the far future, when Statue of Liberty (and Torchs) are extinct. She makes a dash for her Pedestal, but the time machine manages to transport the Torch away one last time before collapsing into bits Columbia Torch Lady tries to go back in time to claim the first Pedestal that she had brought but the time machine breaks, Stranded in the real-less future, Columbia Torch Lady lets out a scream of frustration.
Trivia
- In the beginning of the film, the time machine states that the initial sequence of the film, and likely the entire Screen Gems series, takes place in or around 90,000 BC.
