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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Primary and Secondary Phases

From Biocrawler, the free encyclopedia.

The terms Primary Phase and Secondary Phase describe the first two radio series of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The two series total twelve episodes. For more details on the history of the complete series (1978-2005), please see: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (radio series). The two series were followed by three more in 2004 and 2005. Cast lists and plot summaries for the first two series follow.

Disclaimer on spelling: Unfortunately, the different editions of the Hitchhiker's Guide spell it differently -- thus "Hitch-Hiker's Guide", "Hitch Hiker's Guide" and "Hitchhiker's Guide" are used in different editions (US or UK), versions (audio or text) and compilations of the book. Some editions even used different spellings on the spine and title page. For the sake of coherence, this article spells it Hitchhiker's Guide, which is reportedly the way author Adams himself preferred it ^{[1] (http://www.biocrawler.com/encyclopedia/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_Primary_and_Secondary_Phases#endnote_H2G2_page)}. Other reference works also make note of the inconsistency in the titles, but both repeat the statement that Douglas Adams decided, as of 2000, that "everyone should spell it the same way [one word, no hyphen] from then on." ^{[2] (http://www.biocrawler.com/encyclopedia/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_Primary_and_Secondary_Phases#endnote_2005_Simpson)} ^{[3] (http://www.biocrawler.com/encyclopedia/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy_Primary_and_Secondary_Phases#endnote_2003_Adams)}

^ Style page at h2g2 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/SubEditors-Style#back3), with their own justification for using Hitchhiker's Guide.
^ Simpson, M. J. (2005). The Pocket Essential Hitchhiker's Guide, Second Edition. Pocket Essentials. 1-904048-46-3.
^ Adams, Douglas. Edited by Geoffrey Perkins. Additional Material by M. J. Simpson. (2003). The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Original Radio Scripts, 25th Anniversary Edition.. Pan Books. 0-330-41957-9.

Contents

1 The Primary Phase

1.1 Fit the First
1.2 Fit the Second
1.3 Fit the Third
1.4 Fit the Fourth
1.5 Fit the Fifth
1.6 Fit the Sixth

2 The Secondary Phase

2.1 Fit the Seventh
2.2 Fit the Eighth
2.3 Fit the Ninth
2.4 Fit the Tenth
2.5 Fit the Eleventh
2.6 Fit the Twelfth

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The Primary Phase

The front cover of the 1996 CD release of "The Primary Phase."

The first radio series was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 in 1978. It was split into episodes, known as "Fits" (an archaic term for a section of a poem revived by Lewis Carroll for The Hunting of the Snark). The original series comprised Fits the First through Sixth. Fits the Fifth and Sixth were co-written by John Lloyd; subsequent versions of the story omit most of Lloyd's material.

The success of the series encouraged Adams to adapt it into a novel, which was based on the first four Fits and released in 1979. A slightly contracted double LP re-recording of the first four Fits was released in the same year, followed by a single LP featuring a revised version of Fits the Fifth and Sixth and the second book, both in 1980.

Spoiler warning: Plot or ending details follow.

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Fit the First

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 8 March 1978

Cast:

The Book (narrator): Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Prosser and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz (Vogon Captain): Bill Wallis
Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Lady Cynthia Fitzmelton: Jo Kendall
The Barman: David Gooderson

As the episode opens Arthur Dent is attempting to prevent the local council, represented by Mr Prosser, from bulldozing his house to make way for a bypass. Dent's friend, Ford Prefect arrives and takes him to the pub. At the pub, Ford explains that he is not from Guildford after all, but from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and that the world is about to end.

A fleet of Vogon Constructor Ships arrives in the sky, and Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz broadcasts an announcement that they are to demolish the Earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Panic ensues. Ford uses his "electronic thumb" to hitch a lift onto one of the ships, taking Arthur with him, just moments before the Earth is destroyed.

On board the Vogon Constructor Ship, Ford explains that he was a field researcher for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and had been stuck on the Earth for several more years than he originally expected. The two are soon captured by the Vogons, who take an unfriendly view of hitchhikers.

The episode ends on a cliff-hanger, after the Vogon Captain tortures them by reading them some poetry, with them due to be thrown into space afterwards.

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Fit the Second

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 15 March 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz: Bill Wallis
Vogon Guard and Eddie the Computer: David Tate
Trillian: Susan Sheridan
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Marvin the Paranoid Android and Gag Halfrunt: Stephen Moore
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

After the initial narration, the episode opens with a recap of the cliffhanger with the Vogon captain demanding what Ford and Arthur thought of his poem. They attempt to flatter him to avoid execution, but he decides to throw them off the ship anyway. Whilst being escorted to the airlock, Ford attempts to persuade the Vogon guard to give up his job, but fails.

The pair are spaced. Improbably, they are rescued after 29 seconds, by a starship. After some more improbable events they discover they have been picked up by the Starship Heart of Gold, which has been stolen by Ford's semi-cousin, and President of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox. The Heart of Gold works on a basis of infinite improbability, allowing its drive to do anything whose improbability is known.

Also on the Heart of Gold are Trillian (Tricia McMillan), whom Arthur met at a party in Islington, before she left the party (and the planet) to go with Zaphod Beeblebrox, and Marvin, a depressed android. The episode ends with a post-credit announcement from Eddie the Shipboard Computer that the ship is moving into orbit around the legendary planet of Magrathea.

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Fit the Third

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 22 March 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Eddie the Computer: David Tate
Trillian: Susan Sheridan
Recorded voice and Slartibartfast: Richard Vernon
Whale (uncredited) and Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen Moore
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

The episode begins with a narration describing the significance of Magrathea, a planet that long long ago manufactured custom-designed planets for rich businessmen. Due to its immense success, Magrathea became the richest planet in the galaxy and the galactic economy collapsed. Ford and Zaphod argue about the accuracy of this legend, Ford believing that it is nonsense, Zaphod believing he has found the long-lost planet.

As the ship lands, it triggers an automated recorded message, from the Commercial Council of Magrathea, that notes that Magrathea is currently closed for business, and to leave. A follow-up message announces that nuclear missiles will be launched against the ship.

The missiles are detected, and the crew struggle to get the Heart of Gold to escape the missiles. Disaster is averted when Arthur activates the Infinite Improbability Drive and the missiles are turned into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised-looking sperm whale. Trillian notes that her white mice (that she had taken with her from the Earth) have escaped.

The ship lands, and Ford, Arthur, Zaphod, Trillian and Marvin go onto the surface. They split up, and Zaphod, Trillian and Ford explore a tunnel, noting that they seem to be following the mice, whilst Arthur and Marvin are left on the surface as lookout. Eventually, Slartibartfast comes to meet Arthur, and takes him into the interior of the planet, leaving Marvin behind. Inside Magrathea, he shows Arthur a planet that they are working on at the moment. Arthur recognises it as the Earth. Slartibartfast explains that the original Earth had been destroyed five minutes too early, and they are constructing a replacement. The original Earth had been apparently been commissioned by some mice in order to find the "Ultimate Question".

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Fit the Fourth

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 29 March 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Slartibartfast: Richard Vernon
Deep Thought and Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Trillian: Susan Sheridan
First Computer Programmer/Bang-Bang/Magrathean PA Voice: Ray Hassett
Second Computer Programmer: Jeremy Browne
Cheerleader and Majikthise: Jonathan Adams
Vroomfondel and Shooty: James Broadbent
Frankie Mouse: Peter Hawkins
Benjy Mouse: David Tate
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

The episodes begins with a recap of the events of the series so far, moving a conversation where Slartibartfast explains that mice are really "the protusions into our dimension of vast hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings", and that they commissioned the Earth. He plays Arthur some recordings explaining the historical events. This race of pan-dimensional beings had constructed a great computer, called Deep Thought, to answer the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything. It did, after seven million years, have the Answer to the Ultimate Question, a rather disappointing 42. Deep Thought explains that this is only disappointing because they never really understood what the Question was. They ask the computer if he can find out what the Ultimate Question is. Deep Thought, cannot, but promises to design a computer that can, and names it the Earth.

Slartibartfast explains that this computer was built by the Magratheans, and that the Vogons came and destroyed it five minutes before it was due to complete its run. The mice summon Arthur and Slartibartfast to a meeting room, where they have discussed a proposal with Zaphod, Ford, Trillian. The mice believe that as last-generation products of the computer matrix, Arthur and Trillian should be in an ideal position to find out the Question, and offer to make them "extremely rich" if they can do so. (In later versions this would be replaced with the mice wishing to extract Arthur's brain). The negotiations are interupted by the arrival of a Galatic Police ship, pursuing Zaphod for his theft of the Heart of Gold.

The Police confront Arthur, Ford, Trillian and Zaphod, and shoot at them, whilst explaining that they find violence upsetting. After a particularly long volley of fire, the computer bank they are hiding behind explodes, and the episode ends.

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Fit the Fifth

Written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd
Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 5 April 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Trillian: Susan Sheridan
Garkbit/The Great Prophet Zarquon: Anthony Sharp
Compere (Max Quordlepleen): Roy Hudd
Marvin the Paranoid Android: Stephen Moore
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

The episode begins with end of the previous episode, with the computer bank exploding. The four (Arthur, Ford, Trillian and Zaphod) wake up in a strange place, and assume it must be the afterlife. It becomes apparent that in fact it is the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, which is based in the far future at the exact moment that the universe ends. They dine, but are interrupted by a telephone call, from Marvin. A waiter explains that the Restaurant was in fact constructed in the ruins of Magrathea. Meanwhile, Marvin has been waiting on the surface of the planet. After he whines somewhat, the four go down to the car park (where Marvin has been parking cars), and meet up with Marvin. Ford and Zaphod are transfixed by the spaceships in the carpark, and discover a totally black, totally frictionless ship. Stuck without the Heart of Gold, they decide to steal it, with Marvin's help.

When on the ship, they discover that it is out of control, and none of the controls are legible. They debate what the Question is, and Marvin reveals that he can read it in Arthur's brainwave patterns. Before he can tell what it is, they are interrupted by the control panels lighting up again and the ship coming out of hyperspace. They realise they are outside of the galaxy, and part of an intergalactic battle fleet.

[edit]

Fit the Sixth

Written by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd
Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 12 April 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Ford Prefect: Geoffrey McGivern
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Trillian: Susan Sheridan
"B" Ark Captain and Caveman: David Jason
Number One and Management Consultant: Jonathan Cecil
Haggunenon Underfleet Commander/Number Two/Hairdresser: Aubrey Woods
Marketing Girl: Beth Porter
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

The episode opens with the main characters on the black ship. Soon, they receive a transmission from the second-in-command of the battle fleet, who makes a report to Zaphod, believing him to be the Admiral. This is considered confusing as Zaphod was just presumed to be the Admiral, despite bearing no resemblance to the second-in-command, who looked like a leopard.

Shortly afterward, they receive another transmission, this time with Trillian in the chair. The second-in-command, who now looks like a shoebox, assumes that Trillian is the Admiral.

They look up the name "Haggunenon", spoken by the second-in-command in the Guide, and discover that they are a race of xenophobic shape-shifters. They realise that the Admiral is in fact on the ship, but had shapeshifted. It becomes a "carbon copy" of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. The group split up, Arthur and Ford taking one escape capsule and Zaphod and Trillian attempting to take another.

Arthur notices that the other escape capsule isn't escaping, and presses a button in his escape capsule that ends up teleporting him and Ford to a strange spaceship. Meanwhile, Zaphod, Trillian and Marvin are all eaten by copy of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, with Marvin's leg coming off in the process, and Zaphod's second head is revealed to know French (via an ad-lib by Mark Wing-Davey). This is the last appearance of the character of Trillian until the Tertiary Phase.

The spaceship, marked as "Golgafrincham Ark Fleet, Ship B" is filled with bodies, such as frozen telephone sanitizers, hairdressers, and advertising account executives. Whilst inspecting the bodies, they are captured by Number Two, the third-in-command of the ship, who takes them to the bridge.

Here, they meet the Captain (who is taking a bath in a large bathtub in the bridge, and has been for the last some years). He reluctantly grants permission to Number Two to interrogate Arthur and Ford, and asks him to find out what they want to drink.

Conversing with the Captain, they discover that the bodies are not, as they believed, dead, but frozen. They are intending to colonize another planet, because their original planet was "doomed". The "A Ark" was supposed to contain leaders, the "C Ark" to contain workers, and the "B Ark" to contain middle-men. It becomes apparent that the stories of impending doom were nonsense, and the A Ark and C Ark were never launched.

The story resumes some months later, with a meeting of the Colonization Committee. Reports to the Committee include an update on the development of the wheel (it is unclear what colour it should be), and a documentary about the native cave-men of the planet, who have started to die out since the arrival of the Golgafrinchams.

Ford explains that they done some research on the planet, and that it will last only two million years (but not why - because it is the pre-history of the Earth, and is thus due to be destroyed by the Vogons in two million years time).

Arthur attempts to teach the cave-men Scrabble, in order to try to stop the Golgafrinchams supplanting them. The cave-man spells out "FORTY TWO" on the scrabble board, and Ford and Arthur realise that the program must have gone wrong because of the arrival of the Golgafrinchams. They decide to use the same technique (of choosing scrabble letters) randomly to find out what the question in Arthur's brainwave patterns is, although it might be wrong anyway.

The question in his brain is revealed as "WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU MULTIPLY SIX BY NINE". The episode ends as they decide to rejoin the Golgafrincham colony, and lament the inevitable eventual destruction of the Earth.

The regular ending music is replaced with "What A Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong.

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The Secondary Phase

The cover of the 1996 CD release of "The Secondary Phase."

What became "Fit the Seventh" actually started as a "Christmas Special" episode, and an early draft included a reference to the holiday, though the episode, as transmitted, does not. Five further episodes, to complete the second series (later retitled "The Secondary Phase") were commissioned in May 1979. These final five episodes (the last on radio until 2004) were 'stripped,' or broadcast on each of five days in a single week in January 1980.

Trillian is entirely missing from this series. Her fate is addressed in Fit the Seventh, that she had effected an escape but had then been forcibly married to the Algolian chapter of the Galactic Rotary Club.

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Fit the Seventh

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 24 December 1978

Cast:

The Book: Peter Jones
Arthur Dent: Simon Jones
Ford Prefect/Frogstar Robot/Air Traffic Controller: Geoffrey McGivern
Zaphod Beeblebrox: Mark Wing-Davey
Marvin the Paranoid Android and Gag Halfrunt: Stephen Moore
Arcturan Number One: Bill Paterson
Arcturan Captain/Radio Voice/Receptionist/Lift: David Tate
Roosta: Alan Ford
Announcer (uncredited): John Marsh

The episode opens in the Hitchhiker's offices on Ursa Minor Beta, with a receptionist claiming that Zarniwoop, the editor of the guide, is too busy to take a call because he is both in his office, and on an intergalactic cruise.

It then moves to the bridge of a megafreighter that is due to land on Ursa Minor Beta. A crewmember denounces the Hitchhiker's Guide for being soft, and notes that he has heard they have created a whole artificial universe. Zaphod Beeblebrox is a hitch-hiker on the freighter, and as he listens to the radio, he hears a report that he has died, by being eaten by a Haggunenon. The manner of his escape is left unclear.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Ford are stuck in Earth's pre-history, drunk. As they discuss their predicament, they notice a spaceship half-appearing in front of them. They celebrate their rescue, and it vanishes. Eventually they deduce that this is a time paradox, and they need to figure out how to signal the ship in the future so they can be rescued.

On the ship, Zaphod explains to the crewmember that he is going to Ursa Minor Beta to find out what he's doing. He received a message from himself the previous night, telling him to see Zarniwoop in order to learn something to his disadvantage. Zaphod then explains how he escaped - the Haggunenon turned into an escape capsule before it got the chance to eat him.

Zaphod arrives at the Hitchhiker's offices, and demands to see Zarniwoop, but is given the same excuses as before. After revealing his identity, he is directed to Zarniwoop's office, and meets up with Marvin, who had also survived and coincidentally arrived at the same place. After Marvin persuades the lift to take them upwards, the building starts to shake, due to it being bombed.

Zaphod is met by Roosta, who blames the bombing on Zaphod failing to conceal his presence on the planet adequately. A Frogstar Robot class D soon arrives to come and get Zaphod. Zaphod orders Marvin to stop it (which he does, by tricking it into destroying the floor it is standing on), whilst Zaphod and Roosta escape into the pocket universe in Zarniwoop's office.

Eventually, the Frogstar Robots decide to take the entire building, back to the Frogstar.

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